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Quotes
Anonymous
"Tis truly a folly to dread losing life in an instant, only to throw it away by parcel and piece meal."
To Venture is to risk one's life. Not to venture is to lose one's life.
Risk more than others think is safe. Care more than others think is wise. Dream more than others think is practical. Expect more than others think is possible.
Work like you don't need the money; dance like no one is watching; sing like no one is listening; love like you've never been hurt; and live every day as if it were your last.
Those who say that it cannot be done should get out of the way of the person doing it.
People will forget what you said. And people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn
If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight
If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy
If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty
If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient
If a child lives with encouragement, he learns confidence
If a child lives with praise, he learns to appreciate
If a child lives with fairness, he learns to justice
If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith
If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship, he learns to find love in the world.
Woody Allen
"Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have declared you legally insane in order to gain control of your estate."
"I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch."
"It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens."
"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work, I want to achieve it through not dying."
"There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?"
"On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down."
Marcus Aurelius
"When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive - to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love."
George Axlerod
"I don't mind dying, the trouble is you feel so bloody stiff the next day."
Johann Sebastian Bach
"What the caterpillar calls the end of the world...the master calls a butterfly."
Brendan Behan
"When I came back to Dublin I was court-martialed in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence."
Robert Benchley
"Except for an occasional heart attack I feel as young as I ever did."
Milton Berle
"Sex at the age of eighty-four is a wonderful experience. Especially the one in the winter."
Ambrose Bierce
"A grave is a place where the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student."
"Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate."
George Burns
"You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there."
"People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit."
"When I was a boy, the Dead Sea was only sick."
"Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples."
"I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere."
"I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in it's holder is a thrill."
"At my age flowers scare me."
Samuel Butler
"When you've told someone that you've left them a legacy the only decent thing to do is to die at once."
James F. Byrnes
"Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem more afraid of life than death."
Mariah Carey
"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
Johnny Carson.
"For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off."
Noam Chomsky
"The smart way to keep people passive and obedient is to strictly limit the spectrum of acceptable opinion, but allow very lively debate within that spectrum - even encourage the more critical and dissident views. That gives people the sense that there's free thinking going on, while all the time the presuppositions of the system are being reinforced by the limits put on the range of the debate."
Quentin Crisp
"The court was not previously aware of the prisoner's many accomplishments. In view of these, we see fit to impose the death penalty."
Phyllis Diller
"I'd love to slit my mother-in-law's corsets and watch her spread to death."
Albert Einstein
"Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocre minds. The latter cannot understand it when a (person) does not thoughtlessly submit to hereditary prejudices but honestly and courageously uses their intelligence."
"The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing."
Ed Furgol.
"My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying."
Greer Garson.
"I do wish I could tell you my age but it's impossible. It keeps changing all the time."
Jimi Hendrix.
"It's funny how most people love the dead, once you're dead your made for life."
Oliver Wendell Holmes
"There are three natural anaesthetics: Sleep, fainting, and death."
Herbert Hoover
"Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the National Debt."
Bob Hope
"I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap."
Garrison Kielor.
"They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days."
Rabbi Kushner
"No one on their deathbed ever regretted not spending more time at the office."
Geoffrey Madan
"He is alive, but only in the sense that he can't be legally buried."
Groucho Marx.
"A man's only as old as the woman he feels."
"Either he's dead or my watch has stopped."
Somerset Maugham
"Dying is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to have nothing to do with it."
Angela Monet
"Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who couldn't hear the music"
Patrick Moore
"At my age I do what Mark Twain did. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if I'm not there I carry on as usual."
Christopher Morley
"If we discovered that we had only five minutes left to say all that we wanted to say, every telephone booth would be occupied by people calling other people to stammer that they loved them."
George Orwell
"If large numbers of people believe in freedom of speech, there will be freedom of speech, even if the law forbids it. But if public opinion is sluggish, inconvenient minorities will be persecuted, even if laws exist to protect them."
In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
MA Perlstein
"If your time hasn't come, not even a doctor can kill you."
Michael Phelps
"The trouble with heart disease is that the first symptom is often hard to deal with - sudden death."
Emo Philips
"I was with this girl the other night and from the way she was responding to my skillful caresses, you would have sworn that she was conscious from the top of her head to the tag on her toes."
Jim Rohn
"Resolve says, 'I will.' The man says, 'I will climb this mountain. They told me it is too high, too far, too steep, too rocky and too difficult. But it's my mountain. I will climb it. You will soon see me waving from the top or dead on the side from trying.'"
Rita Rudner
"I don't plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet."
"My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping."
Dick Sharples
"Death is just nature's way of telling you to slow down."
Edith Sitwell
"Picasso was a delightful, kindly, friendly, simple little man. When I met him he was extremely excited and overjoyed that his mother-in-law had just died, and he was looking forward to the funeral."
Margaret Smith.
"My uncle Sammy was an angry man. He had printed on his tombstone: What are you looking at?"
Sophie Tucker
"The secret of longevity is to keep breathing."
Mark Twain.
"The report of my death was an exaggeration."
Lao Tzu
"Time is a created thing. To say 'I don't have time' is like saying 'I don't want to.'"
Kindness in words creates confidence, kindness in thinking creates profoundness, kindness in giving creates love.
Mastering others requires force; Mastering the self requires enlightenment.
He who conquers others is strong, he who conquers himself is mighty.
Quotes for Success in Finance and Life
Anonymous
"The definition of a consultant: Someone who borrows, your watch, tells you the time and then charges you for the privilege."
Never trust a high motive when there is a low one nearby.
Remember where you were when you began. It increases your compassion for people just beginning.
Don't let yesterday use up to much of today. -- Cherokee proverb from Wiloni White Feather
Scott Adams.
"Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue."
Howard Aiken
"Don't worry about people stealing an idea. If it's original, you will have to ram it down their throats."
Robert Anthony
"The opposite of bravery is not cowardice but conformity."
Arthur Baer
"His insomnia was so bad, he couldn't sleep during office hours."
Bob Beckham
"I put the Financial Times on the floor and called my dog William over to pee on it. Wherever there was a mark I could do some trading."
Josh Billings
"I never known an auctioneer to lie unless it was absolutely necessary."
Winston Churchill
"When the Eagles are silent, the parrots begin to jabber"
William Jefferson Clinton
"When we got organized as a country, we wrote a fairly radical constitution with a radical bill of rights, giving a radical amount of individual freedom to Americans. When personal freedom is being abused, you have to move to limit it."
Claud Cockburn
"Never believe anything until it is officially denied."
Harold Coffin
"In the business world an executive knows something about everything, a technician knows everything about something and the switchboard operator knows everything."
Quentin Crisp
"We were allowed to accept gifts of flowers, candies, jewels, furs, yachts, castles - but never money."
Mario Cuomo
"My grandfather died in the great crash of 1929 - a stockbroker jumped out of a window and crushed him."
Raymond Cvikota
"Today's payslip has more deductions than a Sherlock Holmes novel."
Lord J. E. E. Dalberg-Acton
"Power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely.""
Keith Davis
"We didn't actually overspend our budget. The allocation simply fell short of our expenditure."
Mike Delaney
"Any business or industry that pays equal rewards to its goof-offs and
its eager-beavers sooner or later will find itself with more goof-
offs than eager-beavers."
Charles Dickens
"The first rule of business is: Do other men for they would do you."
Phyllis Diller
"My husband once worked for a company that had a merit pay system. After six months they told him that he owed the company money."
Frederick Douglass
"If there is no struggle, there is no progress. Those who profess to favor freedom, and yet deprecate agitation, are men who want crops without plowing up the ground. They want rain without thunder and lightning....Men may not get all they pay for in this world; but they
must certainly pay for all they get."
President Dwight D. Eisenhower
"In the counsels of Government, we must guard against the acquisition of unwarranted influence, whether sought or unsought, by the Military Industrial Complex. The potential for the disastrous rise of misplaced power exists, and will persist. We must never let the weight of this combination endanger our liberties or democratic processes.""
Helen Exley
"Those proud of keeping an orderly desk never know the thrill of finding something that they though irretrievably lost."
F. Scott Fitzgerald
"Either you think, or else others have to think for you and take power from you, pervert and discipline your natural tastes, civilize and sterilize you."
B.C. Forbes
"Better to be occassionally cheated than perpetually suspicious."
Benjamin Franklin
"those who would sacrifice even the smallest amount of their liberty for security, deserve neither liberty nor security...
What good can I do today?"
JK Galbraith
"If all else fails immortality can be assured by a spectacular error."
Mahatma Gandhi
"There is no way to peace, because peace is the way."
Each one of us is setting an example for some one else, and each one of us has a responsibility to shape the future as we wish it to be."
Siddhartha Gautama (Buddha)
"Let yourself be open and life will be easier. A spoon of salt in a glass of water makes the water undrinkable. A spoon of salt in a lake is almost unnoticed."
Kahlil Gibran
"Tenderness and kindness are not signs of weakness and despair, but manifestations of strength and resolutions."
André Gide
"It is better to be hated for what one is than loved for what one is not."
Samuel Goldwyn
"I don't want any yes-men around me. I want everyone to tell me the truth--even if it costs him his job."
"A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on."
Paul Goodman
"Few great men would have got past personnel."
Albert Grant.
"If you think your boss is stupid remember; you wouldn't have a job if he was smarter."
Leon Henderson
"Having a little inflation is like being a little bit pregnant."
Seymour Hicks
"I always travel first class on a train. It's the only way to avoid one's creditors."
Elbert Hubbard
"To escape criticism -- do nothing, say nothing, be nothing."
Kin Hubbard
"Nothing is as irritating as the chap who chats pleasantly to you while he's overcharging you."
Gerald Hurst
"One of the mysteries of human conduct is why adult men and women are ready to sign documents they do not read, at the behest of salesmen they do not know, binding them to pay for articles they do not want, with money which they do not have."
John Imhoff
"Any organization is like a septic tank. The really big chunks rise to the top."
Senator Daniel K. INOUYE, with regard to
Congressional hearings on Iran Contra scandal, 1987 & later
"There exists a shadowy Government with its own Air Force, its own Navy, its own fundraising mechanism, and the ability to pursue its own ideas of national interest, free from all checks and balances, and free from the law itself.""
Thomas Jefferson
"Those who desire to give up Freedom in order to gain Security, will not have, nor do they deserve, either one.
When the government fears the people there is liberty; when the people fear the government there is tyranny.
I'm a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it."
CT Jones.
"A lot of people become pessimists from financing optimists."
George Kaufman
"Office Hours: 2 to 2:15 every other Wednesday."
Lisa Knutson
"Treat others as you would like them to treat you, but, you can not do for others what they are unwilling to do for themselves."
Rabbi Kushner
"No one on their deathbed ever regretted not spending more time at the office."
Charles Lamb
"I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early."
Doris Lilly
"To make a long story short, there's nothing like having a boss walk in."
Abraham Lincoln
"Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character give him power."
Loretta Lynn
"To succeed you've got to be great, first, or different."
JL McCafferty
"I could have done this job myself in twenty minutes, but as things turned out I had to spend two days trying to find out why it had taken someone else three weeks to do it wrong."
Herman Melville
"It is better to fail in originality than to succeed in imitation"
Bernard Miles
"God has mercifully withheld from humanity a foreknowledge of what will sell."
Dennis Miller
"A good rule of thumb is if you've made it to thirty-five and your job still requires you to wear a name tag, you've made a serious vocational error."
Timothy Ray Miller
"It is foolish to postpone enjoyment of your ordinary life until you are more successful, more secure, or more loved than you are today."
Robert Morley
"When I asked my accountant if anything could get me out of this mess I am in now he thought for a long time and said, 'Yes, death would help'."
Patrick Murray
"Tell your boss what you really think about him and the truth shall set you free."
Friedrich Nietzsche
"We must ever contradict ourselves, we must always welcome the opposite of our thought and scrutinize what worth this opposite may have . . . every day you must make war also against yourself."
Larry Niven
"The best advice I was ever given was on my twenty-first birthday when my father said, 'Son, here's a million dollars. Don't lose it.'"
Michael O'Hagan
"Never answer a letter until you get a second one on the same subject from the same person."
P.J. O'Rourke
"Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys."
Don O'Shaughnessy.
"He ended the job as he began it; fired with enthusiasm."
John W. Raper
"Sympathy is never wasted except when you give it to yourself."
Will Rogers.
"An economists guess is as good as anyone elses."
"If advertisers spent the same amount of money on improving their products as they do on advertising then they wouldn't have to advertise them."
"Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save."
Theodore Roosevelt
"It's not the critic who counts, nor the man who points out how the strong man stumbled, or where the do'er of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives,, who spends himself in a worthy cause.
Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered with failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in that gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat."
Rita Rudner
"They usually have two tellers in my local bank, except when it's very busy, when they have one."
John Ruskin
"Do not think of your faults; still less of others' faults; look for what is good and strong; and try to imitate it; your faults will drop off, like dead leaves when their time comes."
Vidal Sassoon
"The only place where success comes before work is in a dictionary."
Arthur Schopenhauer
"All truth passes through three stages: First it is Ridiculed. Second, it is Violently Opposed. Third, it is Accepted as being Self-Evident."
Howard Scott
"A criminal is a person with predatory instincts who has not sufficient capital to form a corporation."
Jacques Sequela
"Don't tell my mother I work in an advertising agency. She thinks I play piano in a whorehouse."
George Bernard Shaw
"You see things and you say, "Why?" But I dream things that never were and say, "Why not?""
Upton Sinclair
"It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends upon his not understanding it."
Robert Townsend
"Fire the whole purchasing department. They'd hire Einstein and then turn down his reacquisition for a blackboard."
Harry Truman
"I want a one-armed economist so that the guy could never make a statement and then say 'on the other hand...'"
Mark Twain
"Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet."
There are several good protections against temptations but the surest is cowardice.
"October: This is one of the particularly dangerous months to invest in stocks. Other dangerous months are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February."
Ira Wallach
"Statistics indicate that as a result of overwork, modern executives are dropping like flies on the nation's golf courses."
Orson Welles
"In Italy for thirty years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder and bloodshed but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the Renaissance. In Switzerland, they had brotherly love; they had five hundred years of democracy and peace and what did they produce? The cuckoo clock."
Oscar Wilde
"It is only by not paying ones bills that one can hope to live in the memory of the commercial classes."
Gahan Wilson
"When I was young I used to think that wealth and power would bring me happiness. I was right."
PG Wodehouse
"I don't owe a penny to a single soul - not counting tradesmen, of course."
Prof. Howard ZINN, Boston University
"It is a tribute to the humanity of ordinary people that horrible acts must be camouflaged [with words] like security, peace, freedom, democracy, the 'national interest'."
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