Old (insert favorite) never die but... jokes

OLD ACADEMICS never die, they just lose their faculties

OLD ACCOUNTANTS never die, they just lose their balance

OLD ACCOUNTS never die, they are deleted

OLD ACTORS never die, they just drop a part

OLD ALARM CLOCKS never die, they just stop ringing

OLD ALCOHOLICS never die, they just get wasted

OLD ALCOHOLICS never die, they just stay loaded

OLD ALCOHOLICS never die, they just go from bar to bar

OLD ANESTHESIOLOGISTS never die, they just go under

OLD ANSWER MACHINES never die, they just stop answering

OLD ANTHROPOLOGISTS never die, they just become history

OLD ARCHERS never die, they just bow and quiver

OLD ARCHITECTS never die, they just lose their structures

OLD ASSETS never die, they just depreciate

OLD ASTRONAUTS never die, they just go to another world

OLD ATOMS never die, they just decay

OLD BANKERS never die, they just lose interest

OLD BANKERS never die, they just want to be a loan

OLD BARBERS never die, they just buzz off

OLD BASEBALL PLAYERS never die, they just go batty

OLD BASEBALL PLAYERS never die, they just achieve their final at bat

OLD BASEBALL PLAYERS never die, they just run their last lap

OLD BASKETBALL players never die, they just go on dribbling

OLD BEEKEEPERS never die, they just buzz off

OLD BIKERS never die, but they're hard on tires

OLD BIOLOGISTS never die, they just ferment away

OLD BLONDES never fade, they just dye away

OLD BOATERS never die, they just keel over

OLD BOOKKEEPERS never die, they just lose their figures

OLD BOOKS never die, they just go out-of-print

OLD BOWLERS never die, they just end up in the gutter

OLD BRAKES never die, they just grind down

OLD BRICK LAYERS never die, they just fall off their blocks

OLD BRIDGE PLAYERS never die, they just lose their finesse

OLD BUDGETS never die, they are filibustered

OLD BUREAUCRATS never die, they just waste away

OLD BURGLARS never die, they just steal away

OLD BUTCHERS never die, they just grind down

OLD BUSINESSES never die, they just get merged

OLD CANNERS never die, they are preserved

OLD CARD PLAYERS never die, they just sit around on their fat aces

OLD CARS never die, they just get run into the ground

OLD CARTOONIST's never die, they just go into suspended animation OLD CASHIERS never die, they just check out

OLD CELLISTS never die, they just become unstrung

OLD CHAUFFEURS never die, they just lose their drive

OLD CHEMISTS never die, they just do it inorganically

OLD CHEMISTS never die, they just fail to react

OLD CHEMISTS never die, they just lose their refluxes

OLD CHEMISTS never die, they just reach equilibrium

OLD CHEMISTS never die, they just smell that way

OLD CLEANING PEOPLE never die, they just kick the bucket

OLD COMPOSERS never die, they just decompose

OLD COMPUTER PROGRAMMERS never die, they just byte the dust

OLD COMPUTER PROGRAMMERS never die, they just byte the dust

OLD COMPUTER PROGRAMMERS never die, they just decompile

OLD COMPUTER PROGRAMMERS never die, they just get bugged with life

OLD COMPUTER PROGRAMMERS never die, they just go to bits

OLD COMPUTER PROGRAMMERS never die, they just lose their memory

OLD COMPUTER PROGRAMMERS never die, they just move to new addresses

OLD COMPUTER PROGRAMMERS never die, they just recurse

OLD COMPUTER PROGRAMMERS never die, their computers have Fatal Errors

OLD COMPUTER PROGRAMMERS never die, they just lose their references

OLD COOKS never die, they just get deranged

OLD COURIERS never die, they just keep on expressing it

OLD COWBOYS never die, they just take longer to mount

OLD COWBOYS never die, they just go horse

OLD CREDIT CARDS never die, they just expire

OLD CRICKETERS never die, they just get bowled over

OLD CRICKETERS never die, they just get smashed for six

OLD DANCERS never die, they just step away

OLD DAREDEVILS never die, they just get discouraged

OLD DEANS never die, they just lose their faculties

OLD DENTISTS never die, they just lose their pull

OLD DIETERS never die, they just waist away

OLD DIVERS never die, they just extend their bottom time

OLD DIVERS never die, they just go under

OLD DIVERS never die, they just flop

OLD DIVERS never die, they just get board

OLD DIVERS never die, they just lose their spring

OLD DOCTORS never die, they just lose their patients

OLD ELECTRICAL ENGINEERS never die, they just have slower rise times

OLD ELECTRICIANS never die, they just do it until it Hz

OLD ELECTRICIANS never die, they just lose contact

OLD ENCYCLOPEDIA WRITERS never die, they just lose their references

OLD ENERGIZER BUNNIES never die, they just keep going, and going, and going...

OLD ENGINEERS never die, they just lose their bearings

OLD ENVIRONMENTALISTS never die, they just recycle

OLD EQUESTRIANS never die, they just take longer to mount

OLD EQUESTRIANS never die, they just go horse

OLD ESKIMOS never die, they just get cold feet

OLD ESKIMOS never die, they just go cold

OLD EXORCISTS never die, they just give up the ghost

OLD EXPLORERS never die, they just don't come back

OLD FARMERS never die, they just go to seed

OLD FARMERS never die, they just spade away

OLD FARMERS never die, they just buy the farm

OLD FATHERS never die, they just become grandfathers

OLD FIDDLERS never die - they just become unstrung

OLD FISHERMEN never die, their rods just go limp

OLD FISHERMEN never die, they just get reel tired

OLD FISHERMEN never die, they just smell that way

OLD FISHERMEN never die, they just lose their sole

OLD FOOTBALL KICKERS never die, they just kick the big one

OLD FOOTBALL KICKERS never die, they just kick-off

OLD FOOTBALL PLAYERS never die, they just achieve their final goal

OLD FOOTBALL PLAYERS never die, they just go to the end zone

OLD FOOTBALL PLAYERS never die, they just stop receiving

OLD FOOTBALL QUARTERBACKS never die, they just lose their drive

OLD FOOTBALL QUARTERBACKS never die, they just fade back and pass away

OLD FOOTBALL QUARTERBACKS never die, they just run out of time

OLD FOOTBALL QUARTERBACKS never die, they just fade away

OLD FORESTERS never die, they just pine away

OLD FROGS never die, they just croak

OLD FRUIT never die, it just pear-ishes

OLD GARAGEMEN never die, they just retire

OLD GEOLOGISTS never die, they just recrystallize

OLD GHOST TOWNS never die, they become desolate

OLD GOLFERS never die, they just lose their drive

OLD GRAPHIC ARTISTS never die, they just de-rez

OLD GYMNASTS never die, they just take longer to mount

OLD HAMS never die, they just get grounded

OLD HARDWARE ENGINEERS never die, they just cache in their chips

OLD HELSINKI TOURISTS never die, they just vanish into Finn Air

OLD HIKERS never die, they just trail away

OLD HOCKEY PLAYERS never die, they just achieve their final goal

OLD HOMEBREWERS never die, they just ferment away

OLD HORSE RIDERS never die, they just take longer to mount

OLD HUNTERS never die, they just stay loaded

OLD HYPOCHONDRIACS never die, they just imagine it

OLD HYPOCHONDRIACS never die, they just lose their grip

OLD IMMORTALS [vampires, whatever] never die, they just...don't

OLD INTERNET USERS never die, they just go off-line

OLD INTERPRETERS (for the deaf) never die, they just sign off

OLD INVESTORS never die, they just roll over

OLD JOKES never die, they just get retold by the young

OLD JOURNALISTS never die, they just get de-pressed

OLD KAYAKERS never die, they just roll back over, and do it again

OLD KEY PUNCH OPERATORS never die, they just punch out

OLD KIDS never die, they just adulterate

OLD KIDS never die, they just grow up

OLD KINGS never die, they reign forever

OLD KNIGHTS IN CHAIN MAIL never die, they just shuffle off their metal coils

OLD LASER PHYSICISTS never die, they just become incoherent

OLD LAWYERS never die, they just lose their appeal

OLD LAWYERS never die, they just lose their briefs

OLD LIBRARIANS never die, their computers have Fatal Errors

OLD LIBRARIANS never die, they just check out

OLD LIBRARIANS never die, they just get re-shelved

OLD LIBRARIANS never die, they just lose their references

OLD LIGHT BULBS never die, they just blink out

OLD LIMBO DANCERS never die, they just go under

OLD LINGUISTS never die, they just rearrange their deep structures

OLD MAGICIANS never die, they just disappear

OLD MAGICIANS never die, they just float away

OLD MAGICIANS never die, they just make a big production of it

OLD MAGICIANS never die, they just change color

OLD MAGICIANS never die, they're just fooling themselves

OLD MATH TEACHERS never die, they just reduce to common denominators

OLD MATHEMATICIANS never die, they just disintegrate

OLD MATHEMATICIANS never die, they just go off on a tangent

OLD MATHEMATICIANS never die, they just lose some functions

OLD MEDIUMS never die, they are just visiting their friends

OLD MEDIUMS never die, they just lose their vision

OLD MERCENARIES never die, they pay someone else to take their place

OLD MERCENARIES never die, they just go to hell to regroup

OLD METEORS never die, they just burn up

OLD METEORS never die, they just disintegrate

OLD MILKMAIDS never die, they just lose their whey

OLD MINISTERS never die, they just go out to pastor

OLD MEMBER's of PARLIAMENT never die, they just attain peerage

OLD MUSICIANS never die, they just decompose

OLD MUSICIANS never die, they just get played out

OLD MUSICIANS never die, they just go from bar to bar

OLD NAVY SHIPS never die, they just become mothballed

OLD NUCLEAR POWER PLANTS never die, they just go off-line

OLD NUMERICAL ANALYSTS never die, they just get disarrayed

OLD OPTOMETRISTS never die, they just lose their vision

OLD OWLS never die, they just don't give a hoot

OLD PACIFISTS never die, they just go to peaces

OLD PARADOXES never die, they just become enigmas

OLD PHOTOGRAPHERS never die, they get sent to the old focus home

OLD PHOTOGRAPHERS never die, they just get out of focus

OLD PHOTOGRAPHERS never die, they just stop developing

OLD PHOTOGRAPHS never die, they just fade away

OLD PILOTS never die, they just buzz off

OLD PILOTS never die, they just go to a higher plane

OLD PLANETS never die, they just lose their attraction

OLD PLASTIC never dies, it just gets recycled

OLD PLUMBERS never die, they just go down the drain

OLD POLICEMEN never die, they just cop out

OLD POLO PUNTERS never die, they just go horse

OLD POSTAL CARRIERS never die, they just lose their zip

OLD PRINTERS never die, they're just not the type

OLD PROPANE TANKS never die, they just run out of gas

OLD PROSTITUTES never die, they just fake away...

OLD PSYCHICS never die, they just lose their vision

OLD PSYCHICS never die, they are just visiting their friends

OLD QUEENS never die, they reign forever

OLD QUILTERS never die, they just go to pieces

OLD QUILTERS never die, they just go under cover

OLD RADIOS never die, they just stop receiving

OLD RAILROADERS never die, they just derail

OLD RAIN PUDDLES never die, they just dry up

OLD REFRIGERATOR REPAIRMEN never die, they just blow their cool

OLD SAILORS never die, they just get a little "dinghy"

OLD SAILORS never die, they just lose their porpoise

OLD SAILORS never die, they just keel over

OLD SALESMEN never die, they just go out of commission

OLD SCHOOLS never die, they just lose their principals

OLD SCOTS never die, but they can be kilt

OLD SCULPTORS never die, they just lose their marbles

OLD SEAMSTRESSES never die, they just come to the point

OLD SEERS never die, they just lose their vision

OLD SEERS never die, they are just visiting their friends

OLD SEWAGE WORKERS never die, they just waste away

OLD SHEET ROCKERS (dry wallers) never die, they just hang around

OLD SHOE MAKERS never die, they just lose their sole

OLD SKEPTICS never die, where is no conclusive evidence about what happens to old skeptics, their future is doubtful

OLD SKIERS never die, but they go downhill fast

OLD SOCCER PLAYERS never die, they just achieve their final goal

OLD SOCCER PLAYERS never die, they just lose their kick

OLD SOLDIERS never die, they just fade away

OLD SOLDIERS never die, they just smell that way

OLD SOLDIERS never die, young ones do

OLD SOURDOUGHS never die, they just ferment away

OLD SPELUNKERS never die, they just cave in

OLD SPIES never die, they just go under cover

OLD STEEL MAKERS never die, they just lose their temper

OLD STUDENTS never die, they just get degraded

OLD SWIMMERS never die, they just fall off their blocks

OLD SWIMMERS never die, they just have a stroke

OLD SWIMMERS never die, they just kick-off

OLD SYSTEM USERS never die, they just chdir to NULL

OLD TANNERS never die, they just go into hiding

OLD TAPE DISPENSERS never die, they just get used up

OLD TEACHERS never die, they just lose their class

OLD TELEPHONES never die, they just stop ringing

OLD THERMODYNAMICISTS never die, they just achieve a state of maximum entropy

OLD TIRES never die, they just get punctured

OLD TRASH never dies, they just bury it

OLD TRIGONOMETRY TEACHERS never die, they just lose their identities

OLD TROMBONISTS never die - they just slide away...

OLD TRUCK DRIVERS never die; they just get a new Peterbilt

OLD TV SHOWS never die, they just get rerun on Nickelodeon

OLD TV SOAP STARS never die, they become pathetic

OLD (Australian Rules Football) GOAL UMPIRES never die, they just get flagged down

OLD USENETTERS never die, they just become unresponsive

OLD VACATIONERS never die, they just don't come back

OLD VAMPIRES never die, they just...don't

OLD VIOLINISTS never die - they just become unstrung

OLD VOICEMAIL SYSTEMS never die, they just stop answering

OLD WANTS never die, they become needs

OLD WATCHMAKERS never die, they just run out of time

OLD WATCHMAKERS never die, they just unwind

OLD WATCHMAKERS never die, they just wind down

OLD WEATHERMEN never die, they rain forever

OLD WINE MAKERS never die, they just ferment away

OLD WHITE WATER RAFTERS never die, they just get disgorged

OLD WOOL COATS never die, they just become mothballed

OLD WRESTLERS never die, they just lose their grip

OLD YACHTSMEN never die, they just keel over

OLD ZOMBIES never die, they just...don't

WALT DISNEY didn't die, he's in suspended animation